It was a beautiful day. A lesson in saying goodbye.

The word Hospice burned on the screen as I sat trying to take in the meaning of it. It is one of those words that seems to carry every stage of grief all at once.

Denial. No, this can’t be. I just saw them. They seemed to be doing so well.

Anger. What the fuck? It’s too soon.

Bargaining. They’re more energized today than they were yesterday. Maybe they’ll pull through.

Depression. A sadness so overwhelming you don’t know where to put it.

Acceptance. The quiet understanding that the time that remains is precious, and that it is time to say goodbye.

There have been too many phone calls over the years that begin with the words, “I’m so sorry, but I have some terrible news...”

Those words have a way of stopping time. You sit in silence as the reality settles in, replaying the last conversation, the last hug, the last time you saw them, wishing you had somehow known it would be the last.

Yesterday was different. Yesterday, friends gathered to say goodbye to someone who was ready. It was a beautiful day.

There were tears, of course. There was laughter too. Long stretches of comfortable silence. Stories remembered. Hands held a little longer than usual.

Our dear friend sat surrounded by the people who loved him most. His family, stoic in the most beautiful way, showed us what grace looks like. There was an unspoken understanding that he was ready to go, and gently, lovingly, he was asking us to be ready to let him.

As afternoon became evening, none of us wanted to leave. We all understood that this goodbye would be the last. In the end, he made it easier for all of us. With a smile, he told us he had had a wonderful day. But it was time to say goodbye.

One last hug.

One last memory.

One last tear.

One last goodbye.

This morning, I woke up thinking about the gift he gave us. Not everyone has the opportunity to say goodbye. Not everyone gets one more conversation, one more laugh, one more chance to say, I love you. Yesterday reminded me that perhaps we should live that way every day.

To tell people we love them while they can still hear the words. To linger a little longer. To make the time.

Because in the end, saying goodbye beautifully begins with how we choose to live together while we still can.

Bia maith leat. Bon Appetit. Spis godt.